Nevertheless, Saturday morning the Oregon Humane Society hosts the Doggie Dash run along the river downtown. But the best part is after with the doggie Musical Chairs, Best Dog Kiss, So Ugly I'm Cute contest and even frisbee clinics.

Anyone who wants to register for the run should be there by 7:30.

Over where the weirdos rule the No Po the St John's Bizarre and Parade takes over the heart of the burg. Here's just part of the lineup (parade starts at noon)

Professional Wrestlers-Wet Beer Belly Contest-Dysfunctional Jazz Band-Roller Derby Pirates-Karaoke The Underscore Orchestra

Plus beer garden and feeding pit! I hear it's safe, even encouraged for the kids too.

Slabtown Saturday night has this year's Nuggets tribute. It's a marathon of garagey psych and stomp honoring the series of Rhino Nuggets box sets of 60s-early 70s dirty underground pop gems.

The first Deschutes Brewery in Portland officially opens Friday, May 2 and some of Portland's media got a sneak peek last Friday night as they busted out their signature - and some new - beers and gourmet Northwest cuisine.

Built in the former Jim Stevens auto building, the outside looks still familiar, as the neon reminds you of the old shop. They also reused a lot of the timber and other materials for the structure and bartop.

Beavers and Urinals

Really. One of the first things that strikes you are the intricate beaver sculptures in wild poses that adorn some table tops and an arch separating the standing bar from the dining area.
Wow, those are some beavers doing crazy things man. They were done by Sisters woodcarver J. Chester Armstrong and feature all kinds of NW wildlife scenes.

Renovators spent about $5 million. It kind of feels like Central Oregon too.

The author, beer, beaver. Photo courtesy Kristina Baesler/Pearl District Business Association

In the men's room, the turn-of-the-last-century sarcophigi urinals were salvaged from New York. They're huge porcelain reverse thrones. I only mention this impressive architectural detail since they make a point of it in the press pack. And they're cool.

It's a pretty big place too, you can't really tell from the outside or the dining room, until you slink back to the brewery area. Almost the whole block and much spacier than the Bend brewery, though I do love that one so too. That may not last long though, I can see Deschutes being a very popular place to drop in for a quick one with the workmates on Fridays or First Thursdays.

More: KGW's Joe Smith checks out the new Deschutes

The menu has pub favorites and some more gourmet-type items aimed at the denizens of the Pearl no doubt. But -- haachi maachi, man, good stuff by top notch chefs. Ale-fried fish and chips, braised Obsidian Stout beef, baby back honey porter BBQ ribs ... whew.

You also may have noticed the Green Lake Ale popping up around town, it's their newest cure for spring summer envy.

Welcome Deschutes, it's good to taste a part of our wild Oregon right here downtown.

Friday:
At Ground Control the kiddies from Portland State are having some tunes for their KPSU magazine release party. It's a benefit/pledge drive for this indie student station that's grown a lot since I graduated. OK, ten years you can get a lot done, I guess.

Salem's very own The Buttfrenchers rule this lineup, along with Dance Terrør, Strangers Die Every Day, New Century Schoolbook, DJ Moonchild (7 pm)

Over at the Dantes, The Minus 5 are back, sheesh ya'd think they lived here or something. playing with the Dimes and Heavenly States.

At the Towne Lounge if you like your piano banged, your songs simple and brilliant, you'll want to check out Minneapolis' Mark Mallman. Rocking-to-sweet melodies as a true troubador.

Saturday splash kicks off with the fifth annual Stumptown Comics fest at the Lloyd Center Doubletree. Also -- Dark Horse could be looking for YOU. Apparently, an editor will be looking for portfolios to fill the "newbie" slot for the next two months in Myspace Dark Horse Presents.

And for all of you who just LOVE clowns a new Rose Festival program called Character Clown Corps train ordinary folks to not creep out the kids -- you get a makeup kit and costume as well as tips to develop your very own clown character at the World Trade Center

You may well get a chance to show off in front of the Grand Floral Parade, since 20 people will be selected

Up on the mountain, winter turns to spring literally, at the second annual Pond Skim at Mt. Hood Meadows.
Kona Brewing and All About Hawaii Travel put on the slide as participants fly down the hill and try to scoot the 80-90 foot long pond.

Also -- Polynesian drinks and Hawaiian food. It's $25 to play. And our own Matt Zaffino is judging!

OK, I know I rant about vinyl a lot, but I have to some more all because this weekend the focus is on independent record stores - of which Portland has several fine varieties.

And if you thought you were going to get yardwork done,or lounge on a patio barbecuing and drinking microbrews FORGET IT!
It's going to be like 40 degrees and raining sideways, so get back to the great indoors and spend some money.

Saturday is RECORD STORE DAY!

Speaking of - next week the Jackpot Fifth annual film fest at Hollywood theater unwinds.

I was curiously drawn to this when it all started and it's continued to clobber me over the head every year with it's lineup of coolness. And IT'S FREE.

Monday, April 21st: 7-9 pm "Northwest Passage - Directors Cut"
Tuesday, April 22nd: 7-9 pm "Hip Hop Night"
Wednesday, April 23rd: 7-9 pm "The Holy Modal Rounders - Bound To Lose"
Thursday, April 24th: 7-9 pm "Psych/Garage Night"
Friday, April 25th: 7-9 pm "Black Sabbath Live" and an exciting Mystery Feature

THIS JUST IN: Westside Christian High School Theater is doing YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN, starting next Friday April 25 and running through Sunday, May 4.

Quoted in the release it says "A day made up of little moments picked from all the days of Charlie Brown - from wild optimism to utter despair."

Good grief, how true. Peanuts is the darkest, yet funniest comic strip ever produced by the genius Charles Schultz, long before "Garfield minus Garfield." With lines like this: "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." – Charles M Schulz

This production is based on the 1999 Broadway run.

It's at the Alpenrose Dairy Opera House at 6149 SW Shattuck Road in Portland.

Show times are Friday and Saturday evenings, April 25, 26, May 2 and 3 at 7:30 PM and a Sunday matinee on Sunday, May 4 at 2:30 PM.

Tickets are $10 and $12 and reservations and information are available by calling (503) 697-4711, ext. 243.

Have a suggestion? Check out the calendar >>>

Or email me

And being from east of these parts it's a heckuva haul to find good pizza. West Coasters do it different. Sure we have our taste-kinda-like-NYC (ubiquitous-but-not-close) California-style BBQ-and odd vegetable combos (not pizza) our national chains (don't count) but I have yet to find anything in the town, ne, in any city on the West Coast that can rival a:

1) Minnesota-Chicago flatiron style (cut in squares of course)
and
2) Deep dish Chicago. (I am told there's one in Salem, I will get there)

Stay with me. Well a pizza-rib joint that opened on MLK as 'Wildfire' has now changed its name to Carboni's, eerily similar to Carbone's in Minnesota, home of the World's Finest Pizza Ever Hands Down Don't Even Try To Argue.

So Portland's Carboni's had a lot going against it in terms of living up to a name. The owner says the name translates from Italian as 'coals' as in the 1,000 degree fire the crust cooks in.

Imagine my shock as I picked up the sausage-onion 12" wood fired pie Sunday afternoon to find a sliver thin crust coated in the right amount of flour, rich sauce and fresh mozzarelle.

While it is not quite the midwest flatiron thin style, the overall taste is close with a crust I would compare to Ken's Artisan. It's dang good.

They've also got local micros (Rogue, Laurelwood) on tap and a cool patio for summer.

Congratulations to Carboni's (3925 NE MLK) I'll be back probably tommorrow.

But that's OK, pretend your'e working on the farm.

But before tackling that mess, you might pay a visit Friday night to Dante's, where Storm Large and her band The Balls will be returning to where it all started.

Later Saturday afternoon-evening, it's the Nightowl Record Swap at the Eagles Lodge on 51st and SE Hawthorne.
This is kind of like what we used to go to at the fairgrounds sometimes, but on a smaller scale. And there's food, drinks and pool tables.

Anyhoo, in it's fourth year, area record collectors and dealers get together to sell, trade and buy everything from electropop DJ mixes to plain old vintage rock and roll. The only drawback is, it's only four hours long from 5-9 p.m. That's some fast flipping to get through all that vinyl.

Coast goers - I found a detailed listing of all kinds of events for the beach in town and beyond.

The Coast Weekend's calendar has everything from art walks, to square dances, kids' choirs, and listings for bands like 'Schooner' and The Salty Dogs. Bring kites.

I'm not kidding. We got a press release.

Also on Saturday afternoon - great party at Centaur Guitar on NE Sandy with several bands.
Really, support LOCAL MUSIC

Friday night it's a tough call, I've never seen the Boss and this E Street tour is on fire. Catch Springsteen's Magic tour at the Rose Garden.

If not that, it's monster Bob Mould with full band at the Doug Fir. The last two records have been pretty solid as far as the guitar stuff goes, and last time I saw them at the DF the last 25 minutes were all classic Husker Du and Sugar material.

Across the river in Clark County it's the Hot Rods & Harleys Custom Car & Bike Show at Clark Co Fairgrounds.

They say there'll be 250 of the nation's best cars and motorcycles featuring Harley's, choppers, classics and antiques, custom builds and imports. Plus - music, tattoos and leather!

Saturday night you may want to check out one of Portland's to-be neighborhoods. The little district on NE Dekum is on the up and Good Neighbor Pizza (800 NE Dekum just off MLK) is hosting live music. they've been at it a few months now, and it's next on my list for pie.

Playing will be Brigades, The Brightest Comet and DJ A-minus

At the Crystal, John, Exene Billy and Bonebrake - original X lineup returns with their classic LA punkabilly.

More to come ...

Five bucks to get in, but you need to buy a glass for $8, then tokens to sip. Admission is free for the first two hours each day.

If you aren't staying in town the first weekend of spring should be a blast at the beach, what with all the crazy history's mysterys washing ashore. Who knows, perhaps a dad man's chest.

Saturday night Portland's roller girls return to the rink for the March bout of Rose City Roller Derby. Starting at 6 p.m. sharp at the Expo center. These bouts usually sell out and fast. tickets are $16 and $22.

Afterwards, the party moves to Mt tabor for Dead Man's Hand and The Texecutioners.

And for the Easter kiddies we've got a whole list of egg hunts, with cartoon characters, cookies and being Portland - tattoos.

Get over to NW for tryouts Saturday - national anthem auditions for the Portland Beavers games on the field at PGE Park from 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

"Interested candidates will be asked to perform the entire national anthem in front of a panel of judges. Bands, groups, choirs, and those able to sing or perform "God Bless America" and the Canadian national anthem are strongly encouraged to audition. All performances must be between 85 and 100 seconds in length."

Sha wing battuh

If you head west on Highway 30 there's a rad little neighborhood called Linnton. you may miss it if you're not paying attention past the outer industrial area. And Saturday night you'll be in the mood at the Big Band dance at the Linnton Community Center.

It'll be full-on with a 16-piece band, there aren't that many in town so I highly reccomend the classic sounds. Doors open at 6:00 p.m. The Big Band starts playing and dancing begins at 7:00 pm. and they'll also be wearin o' the green.

Fri, Sat and Sunday - Rose City gun and knife show, Expo Center. Stock up, the weather is getting nice for target practice season.

Get over to NW for tryouts Saturday - national anthem auditions for the Portland Beavers games on the field at PGE Park from 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

"Interested candidates will be asked to perform the entire national anthem in front of a panel of judges. Bands, groups, choirs, and those able to sing or perform "God Bless America" and the Canadian national anthem are strongly encouraged to audition. All performances must be between 85 and 100 seconds in length."

Sha wing battuh

If you head west on Highway 30 there's a rad little neighborhood called Linnton. you may miss it if you're not paying attention past the outer industrial area. And Saturday night you'll be in the mood at the Big Band dance at the Linnton Community Center.

It'll be full-on with a 16-piece band, there aren't that many in town so I highly reccomend the classic sounds. Doors open at 6:00 p.m. The Big Band starts playing and dancing begins at 7:00 pm. and they'll also be wearin o' the green.

Fri, Sat and Sunday - Rose City gun and knife show, Expo Center. Stock up, the weathers getting nice for target practice season.

Starting Thursday night, the up and coming gut busters will be cutting up stages at Mt. Tabor, Bar of the Gods, Eagles Lodge and the Hawthorne Theater.

Get a wristband.

More to come

On Friday there's a new-er club I've wanted to check out in Old Town - it's called the Crown Room on 205 SW 4th and they're now having live bands. During the week they do the swanky cocktail lounge thing and on Wednesdays there's an Elvis Act.
Anyhoo, the Hit-and-Run will be playing Friday night, so cocktail lounge turned punk club. You know, for us old people.

All weekend long will be the Portland Lindy exchange swing fest. I don't know how to East Coast, but many girls tell me I should.

There'll be champagne and cake made entirely of VooDoo Doughnuts!

Birthdays get a $29 room rate that night at Monaco and Hotel Vintage Plaza - (other guests can receive a 29% rate discount when booking in advance with the "LPY" Leap Day promotional code)

After checking in and celebrating, head on over to Berbati's for the NEW YORK DOLLS!

The two surviving members have assembled a killer lineup and the buzzsaw guitars still jump and slice around David Johansen's vocals and preening. I saw them last time they came through and was happily shocked at how much they surpassed expectations for a 35 year old pre punk band.

Cruise on into the East End lounge for BOAT NIGHT. Taking a cue from Internet sensation of the seas YACHT ROCK, the bartenders will set you up like Issac as DJs sail on to rock you softly to the sounds of Michael McDonald, Chris Cross, Hall and Oates, Cap'n, Tenille and many more. You can't get any smoother.

WAKE UP HIPPIES!
Saturday sees the return of Saturday Market - a sure sign of spring right? Anyhoo, I digress, you non-hippies are welcome too. It even goes into Sunday. There'll be parades and all the crafty goodness you've come to love, along with killer food.
Saturday 10-5 p.m. and Sunday 11-4:30 p.m.

Rumbling over to the east side, it's hot rod heaven at the convention center for the Portland Roadster Show. Check out the chopped and macked out beauties from Friday through Sunday.

Ladies - save the elbows - at the B Side tavern on Burnside it's WOMENS' ARM WRESTLING!
There's a $5 entrance fee, proceeds go to Planned Parenthood. Single elimination tournament also will bestow fantastic prizes. (632 E Burnside)

Finally - an PDX institution (hey, why would I want to be in an institution) celebrates five years of marching to some of Portland's different drummers - the MARCH FOURTH MARCHING BAND will play a three-day run at the Crystal. They wear funny hats. Sunday - a special matinee show for the kiddies.
Guess which day is the actual anniversary.

It runs through March.

They say the rain may return, but our temps are somewhat balmy so head out if you can. I've become a fan of hanging out at the Portland living room, this weekend it's the PROFESSIONAL ICE CARVING

For Friday night - it's the Shiny Things and the Weaklings at the Tiger Bar. Only band I've ever seen there before is the Karaoke from Hell, but the stage is great and should be blasting away Broadway.

Can't stay out too late though, there are TWO big shows have tickets going on sale tomorrow morning. One, the Foo Fighters who are playing the Rose Garden on July 10.

The second, duh - it's Gordon and Declan, coming on July 11.

Saturday night may find me at Slabtown for The DTs and Pure Country Gold. Or karaoke-ing at some lounge in NE, ya just never know.

My pal Marjorie from the Merc has this for Sunday:
'The Red Light Clothing Exchange, Portland's celebrated buy-sell-trade men's and women's fashion emporium, will host their popular, annual Co-Ed Naked Shopping Spree at the Hawthorne store on Sunday, February 24.
Four contestants (2 male, 2 female, chosen from hundreds of customer entries) will strip down to nothing* at 5 pm, then have three minutes to run through the 7500 sq. ft. store - in front of hundreds of onlookers - and put on as many clothes as possible. Whoever pulls on the most garments wins everything on their body plus a $100 Red Light gift card."

Warning: Skin tight hipster pants could pose dangers in all the hubbub.

Also, if you're getting ready for Spring training - sign ups for Underdog Portland leagues are starting.
What is it?
Every mildly athletic sport you could want! Bowling, mini golf, kickball, and more. Form a team or join one. Live out your perpetual Portland adolescence.

It's a good thing, because I have to start on a sad note this week - local bass player Steve Casmano passed away from cancer Wednesday. Steve's been rocking the scene for many years, you may have seen him laying it down with killer bands like Sado Nation and The Flapjacks. He will be missed by many.

For Thursday's VD happenings - lovers and loners welcome:
Virginia Cafe has the lipstick contest (I won in 2000)
At Holman's, comedy night (28 and Burnside)
Slabtown has a cupcake eating contest and karaoke
See the KGW Holiday page for more

For the weekend scene:
PDX Jazz fest is in the house if you're looking for something way out, cats - and Friday night starts out HOT with legendary plastic sax man ORNETTE COLEMAN at the Schnitz. Ornette's style was revolutionary to jazz when he started developing his own sound, some bandmates used to beat him up and take his horns cause he'd play against the melody. Now known as one of the innovators of so-called Free Jazz.

And all weekend the yout's will be filling Pioneer Courthouse Square with their fresh school sounds of jazz for the fest. Will likely be PERFECT to enjoy the 60 degree temps. (Remember, you can't smoke and clean up after the dog.)

If jazz ain't your bag daddy-O, bring the earplugs to see BLUE CHEER at Dante's. OK, so it's not exactly all, alright, well it's NONE of the original members. But they were louder then the WHO, so I'm willing to bet it will still be VERY heavy and rocking.
(For the unfamiliar, their biggest hit was the cover of Summertime Blues that peaked at #14. the WHO covered it later)

**Insert music trivia segueway here**

At the Lowbrow Lounge in the Pearl -- it's the MOTHER OF ALL ROCK TRIVIA battles, hosted by the beer man Mark, I'm told. (Pack an extra brain along with a kidney, this reporter's team of nerds will be competing.)

There's also a JOHNNY CASH tribute night at the ASH St. Saloon featuring local rowdy Joshua James (who owns one of the man in black's black shirts, I kid you not) and his RUNAWAY TRAINS.

SATURDAY

OOH OOH - hey LOVERS and expecially LONERS - Saturday, is the 3rd annual Anti-Valentines Day party put on by The Heartless Heathers Portland roller derby team.
It's at 9 p.m. 226 SE Madison - beer by Rogue brewery, food, bar, games, beer pong, famous wheel of mis-fortune and spanking booth. (A fundraiser for the team)

Saturday night the hoedown moves to the World Famous Kenton Club for Podunk - bluegrass without all the traditions, they've made new ones. Headlining is the Ain't Rights - who turn into the Git Rights as Sunday morning shines on for the GOSPEL BRUNCH. Salvation and soul fillin pickins in No. Denver St.and Willis, Sunday noon.

Movin Pictcha's

In it's run through February is the PIFF - Portland Int'l Film Fest- playing at finer theaters all over the Rose City. Tickets available in lobby of the Portland Art Museum or call (503) 288-PIFF.

That's a lot going on for a traditionally slow time of year gang - let's hope the sun will peek out a bit on us. Have some fun!